tempat sampah gue…

How do you wake up from nightmare when you’re not asleep? it just make you realize the horror is real, because it happened for sure. When I watched my favorit movies "The machinist" Stevie the prostitute tell Reznik "Everyone get insomnia sometimes" heck, when I heard that line I was asking myself "is that true?".

I don’t know the answer but come back to the first line of this topic, insomnia really can be a nightmare (literally!). Ok, my case probably is not insomnia but for sure I can’t sleep normally ! What I mean by normally I can’t be like other people having a nice sleep in the night and for sure it’s jeopardize my life. I can’t concentrate on my life because when you’re not asleep at night you lose a lot of energy at day and damn !!!! it happened to me, everyday ! I just don’t know what to do and it is not like I did not try anything, I bought a pill that claimed the pill can help for sleeping problem….and SHIT !!!! it don’t work at all for me ! Sometimes I am so angry, I don’t know who to ask for help, my dad hey it is not that I said he doesn’t care but well….kinda’ hard to expect him to help me while mom just scold me all the time, she thought I am making this up so I can sleep a lot at the day on holiday (mom, don’t you know that this is also happened at the school day ? why don’t you believe me ? it really ruins my life you know)

It happenned since I returned from US, I just don’t know I guess it’s now psychological and definitely my body really "killing" myself. If it because of my sin, forgive me o Lord, because If you don’t I really damned and If I were damned I am just your servant.