tempat sampah gue…

I have failed…
I have failed to be a good person
I have failed as a human
I have failed as a brother
I have failed as a son
I have failed as a Muslim
I have failed as a friend
I have failed as a student….

SOmetimes I always think just wanna’ shoot my head, but it won’t solve the problem
God will put my soul straight away to hell….
And who knows by HIS grace i could get some help
but….how….??
Grace is not just coming from the sky…
I have to seek for it….and dunno’ how
I’m sick & tired of myself
Sick and tired, everytime I change to be better person…
In the end thing just force me to realize that i didn’t change a bit…
everything turn out bad…..and it eat me alive…

I’m sick, tired, bored, insane…..
The pain don’t stop
It’s like a never ending cycle

O Lord….by your grace…
Please God, by your almightyness and your graceful hand…
Is there a way…?
any light that I can seek ?

By thy name….
If it isn’t you who else should I seek for help…
You’re the only one who hold my soul….
In the name of your
I take refugee on YOU…

Please….don’t let me be a FAILURE

it’s seems fun to me…..
How f**k thing can be…..
everytime I get head…..
I feel more dead…..

difficult enough to feel a little bit…..
dissapointed, passed over….
but I look around & through…
see you naked, but it oblivious….
and you don’t see me….

what a dissapointed day, I’ve checked the 2nd semester result….arrgghhh…crap got Straight C really wanna’ cry huu…….

ayo Buuudd…..woy belajar buud, mau jadi apa kamu nanti ! heheheh…eh…buat yg ngeliat blog ini ada yg jago sales promotion gak ? boleh minta tolong gak ? pliss….bingung gw nih ~!

alamak….tugas mulai deh, hari ini gw dpet tugas sales promotion, the problem is the lecturer is really boring !. ampun gw suruh duduk 3 jam di kelas die ahahahha….

btw, gw sakit hari ini, jadi gak denger jelas tuh tugasnya suruh ngapain :(( wahahahha…hmm…tar deh tapi tekad gw gw harus lulus kuliah….gak mau gw jadi MaDeSu huahahhaha…..wish me luck guys !

So tired…..lol ! seems day to day gettin’ tougher, but i’m a man gotta’ deal with everything happenned. I juts being told about my medical check-up result, I’ve been told they diagnose that i’m close to get diabetic, which until today still have no cure…..imagine that diabetic at this age ???  Good Lord…..see I stop consume (not entirely, though!) any sweet beverages such as coke and blah…blah blah  guess I gotta’ change my habit every breakfast I used to drink Milo ais well…since the result came out guess i gotta’ get used to with teh tarik instead ahahahahah….

another problem is….man, I feel my life screw up. look at my school progress, it really kill me, man !!! how can I deal with that grade which "killing" my GPA ? oh….well got nobody to blame except myself, don’t I ? I just gotta’ jumped in to the book, more than I used to I guess……shoot…I just lost my ( I even forget what it is, but we Indonesian called it ’semangat hidup’)

"By the time, Verily! Man is in loss, Except those who believe and do the good deeds and recommend one another to truth."  (Holy Qur’an: Al-’asr 1-3)